Chinese Wedding Customs

We religiously followed the Chinese tradition for our wedding, quite many efforts were put in to fulfill the customs but nevertheless it made our wedding events more colourful and lovely.

1. Tai Chan (Wedding Initiation)

The very first custom for a Chinese wedding is "Tai Chan" which means the Groom's family would make a visit to the Bride's family to initiate the intention for wedding, check on the compatibility of the couple and discuss on the "terms & conditions". But in modern days, this step is basically just a casual meet up between the 2 families to discuss on dinner details or any special customs arrangement for different dialect group etc. This is the case due to usually both families had already meet up during the R.O.M after lunch and they both should be well notified and acknowledged of the union.

So Wilson's parents came along to my home for this, and we had a good discussion on especially the dinner part. We are organizing the wedding dinner together as both of us are from KL and we share quite a lot of friends poll. After the discussion, we "officially" kick start the wedding preparations on the Chinese customs side.

2. Guo Dai Lei (Betrothal)

"Guo Dai Lei" is a ceremony whereby the Groom's family would bring forth a list of customary gifts including wedding biscuits/cake, chicken (replaced by angpow), roasted pig (replaced by angpow), brandy, 5 types of prosperity seeds, fruits, dragon & phoenix candles and also dowry and milk angpow. In return, Bride's family to give back half of the gifts and replace the brandy with orange juice and also some fruits and cake. The new mother-in-law (my mother) has to give a pair of pants to the groom for good fortune and the groom has to present a pair of shoes to my brother to ease money-making. 

The GDL troop were led by Wilson's sister and brother in law, as the rules were non-parents to carry out this ritual. We had a happy and smooth session and now the "deal" is officially sealed.

For the record, we went to Xilinmen at Puchong to purchase all the chinese wedding customary items. They are very professional and able to guide our parents very well in the executions. Highly recommended, they are also providing Chaperon Lady services.

- The betrothal gifts and return gifts

- Deal is sealed -

3. On Chong (Bed Installation)

Approximately a week before our Actual Day, we shall have our bed installed in the bridal room. This ceremony shall be done by a pair of "good life" couple. Of course we immediately think Wilson's parents is the best choice. So it was just a simple ceremony to put on the bed sheet and place the bed into perfect position. A plate of lucky seeds/items are placed in the middle of the bed, together with 4 angpows at each corner of the bed. 

There is also a rule for my mother to provide us a "wardrobe angpow" to slip into the wardrobe for good fortune to the newly wed. My mom even wanted us to put coins in every drawers in the wardrobe. 

After the bed is "installed", it is believed that no one could touch nor sleep on the bed until the actual day. Even the groom could only sleep on it with companion of a toddler boy. But for us, Wilson spent nights that week at another room to complete the ritual.

 

- Ceremony in progress -

- All set for the Actual Day! -

4. Sheung Tau (Hair Combing Ceremony)

Lastly, the very night before Actual Day, we had to carry out the hair combing ceremony. It has to be done by a "good life" lady, and men for the groom. We bought all the necessary items from Xilinmen as well. Our auspicious time for the ceremony is 11pm, and my mother had invited my grand-aunty to carry out the ritual for me. Grandaunt is a very religious Hokkien, so we followed very tightly on her requirements during the ceremony.

By 10.30pm, my mom prepared fruits, prayers items (candles and joss sticks) and Ang ku kuih, pork (no idea why -.-), Tong Yuen, Mee Sua and hard boiled egg. Of course, apart from these are the important plate of customary items i.e. scissors, comb, red thread, mirror, face powder, needle set and a long ruler. And I changed into the ceremony costume, a white satin pajamas and a pair of auspicious slipper.

By 11pm sharp, I called Wilson and we started the ceremony together, me at my home and him at his home. My grandaunt used the comb from the set, slowly brush down my long hair and chanted the 4 famous phrases in Hokkien. Then my mom fed me 9 Tong Yuens, and I ate the egg and mee sua. Finally my mother has to stay awake to keep an eye on the dragon and phoenix candle until it's all burnt up. It is important that it's burning at the same rate, symbolized an forever unity in our marriage.

With this, I'm all ready for the big day tomorrow~

- The very traditional set up for hair combing ceremony -

- Ceremony costume -

- My grandaunt, the one who combed my hair for the ceremony -